“Wow! That’s great!...but how come I haven’t seen it on Facebook yet?”
I’m sure this scen
ario is either familiar or sounds true enough to be real to most of us. Our generation seems to be not only physically or mentally dependent on online social networks, but also socially dependent. The most influential social network these days is Facebook, which has over 500 million active users worldwide. Facebook limits its users to one of six different “relationship statuses”, and also gives the option not to post a status at all. According to a Time Magazine article regarding Facebook relationships, 60% of Facebook users choose to post their relationship status. Interestingly enough, most of them are either “single” or “married”. It seems as if Facebook puts social pressure on its users to share as much as possible through the network with their friends or with the general public. Consequently, users post their pictures, locations, and common friends, and in addition-their personal relations with their “partners”.
ario is either familiar or sounds true enough to be real to most of us. Our generation seems to be not only physically or mentally dependent on online social networks, but also socially dependent. The most influential social network these days is Facebook, which has over 500 million active users worldwide. Facebook limits its users to one of six different “relationship statuses”, and also gives the option not to post a status at all. According to a Time Magazine article regarding Facebook relationships, 60% of Facebook users choose to post their relationship status. Interestingly enough, most of them are either “single” or “married”. It seems as if Facebook puts social pressure on its users to share as much as possible through the network with their friends or with the general public. Consequently, users post their pictures, locations, and common friends, and in addition-their personal relations with their “partners”.By giving their users the decision whether to announce their new or current relationships or not, Facebook creates this social expectation, which most people want to meet. No one wants to date someone who refuses to be in a relationship on Facebook, while a person who is open to suggestions would want to keep his or her options open by making sure the word “single” is loud and clear on his/her page. Furthermore, Facebook makes it easier to follow your friends’ or acquaintances’ relationships, while also giving some insights for the gossipers in society. After all, who doesn’t enjoy seeing ten “Likes” or multiple congratulating, and sometimes dramatic comments about his or her own changed relationship status?
Other than students following their friends’ teenage on /off relationship statuses, adults also utilize Facebook as a reachable medium to publicize their current love life situation. I mean, it is much easier rejecting a romantic date by “friend requesting” your fellow worker, letting him see your page, rather than saying “Sorry, I’m engaged” face to face, right? In the same Time article, an engaged couple shared an interesting story about announcing their engagement to the world via a simple Facebook status change. After receiving an angry phone call, they realized they forgot to tell the news to their own parents who ended up finding out through the network. Evidently, society believes Facebook provides the best and fastest way to announce, share, track and comment about personal relationship statuses of the people around us. Without this wide updating network, people would feel “out of the loop” and would be less entertained by judging others’ decisions or following others’ achievements. Once again, we fall into the online trap- getting addicted to being constantly connected.
So bottom line, to share or not share?
4 comments:
As someone who just recently changed my relationship status, I can attest to much of what this post states. In particular, the assertion that we all enjoy seeing "Likes" and a series of comments on a changed relationship status. I am totally guilty of checking back on the comment thread multiple times after initially changing it to see how many more comments my profile alteration had garnered. Nonetheless, I still find the whole notion that anyone besides me would care to be completely bizarre and somewhat creepy. "Cool, I'm glad you 'Like' it. Who are you again?"
I’ve definitely experienced the Facebook relationship status update problems too. My girlfriend thought that I didn’t care about her just because I hadn’t changed my relationship status on Facebook. The truth was that I just hadn’t been on Facebook in a few days and that I was waiting to tell my parents and close friends before they felt left out after first hearing it from someone who saw it on Facebook. My sister encountered this same problem with her old boyfriend, and she just never posted it in protest; he got over it. I don’t understand why there is such a need for that information to be updated immediately.
I never really understood the significance of having things posted onto Facebook other than to share pictures with people you are no longer in contact with easily. Personally, I only have a Facebook account to know what my friends are up to, and am surprised to see what many of them write or post up. However, I would have to say that I fall into the same trap that this blog mentions that I would only know of what many of my contacts are doing because of their Facebook updates. One of the oddest things I remember about the whole Facebook relationship business was when my girlfriend broke up with me and when I had logged back on after a vacation her status was single and mine was still in a relationship. Many of my friends at the time were confused because of this conflict, even though it was clear publicly we were no longer together. And what can I say, I would be equally confused.
I am all too closely familiar with this aspect of Facebook. I personally am not an on again, off again dater. In fact with my girlfriend, the response for both of us was "of course we'll be facebook official".
But I've heard from my friends the back and forth, the struggles of what status to have on Facebook.
It's about appearences. You both want to be honest to the world, but you don't want to be seen as fickle. That's a hard balance to have when the relationship goes over rocky ground.
For some, changing their status is similar to getting married or divorced. It puts more pressure on you to stay in the relationship, because anything you do will be instantly seen, and commented on.
Because of this pressure, i've all too often seen couples break up over whether or not they're 'Facebook official' I don't know if this is a function of Facebook, or just an extension of the age-old question "so what are we now?"
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